Help With Relationships � 9 Tips To Help You Move Forward

Trying to get over the one that you love is not something easy to accomplish, especially when you are not ready to let them go. However, if you are in a relationship that reduces your self esteem, makes you feel like less than you are, or is emotionally draining on you at all, then it is definitely time to move on. Asking for help with relationships is not an easy thing to do either. It can seem embarrassing to have to ask those types of questions. Below I have written out some tips that help with relationships to make it a little easier for you.

There is a vast majority of women that remain in a dead relationship with the thoughts that things will get better in time. Women tend to convince ourselves that if we give plenty of love, patience, and devotion that we can change our partners. This is not the case. In order for someone to chance, they must accomplish it themselves. The only person whom you can change, is yourself. Realizing this is very important in any type of relationship, but extremely important where a relationship such as this is in the mix. Should you decide to see a professional to ask for help with relationships, they will emphasize this point over and over again. Once you take this point to heart, you may find out that the best thing for you is to get out of the relationship.

In my trip to trying to create a more healthy and fulfilling relationship for my own life, I have found a few basic principals that I put into place when dealing with matters of the heart. I am sharing these with you because I have found that they do help you to see the signs of bad relationships to that of a good, healthy relationship. This will help you to be able to open yourself up to the possibility of a true real love with someone.

1. Stop and figure out what went awry. Don�t sit and think about what could have been if only. � Take an honest glance at what happened in your relationship. This will help you to realize what it is that you need and want in a true loving relationship. Opening your mind up to thinking of what went wrong will help you to see what negative things you overlooked in the front of the relationship so that you do not repeat the same mistake. You will know a lot sooner that a relationship is not meant for you. If you sit and think about what could have been, you are only stopping yourself from finding the relationship that is meant for you. After all, a healthy, loving relationship is what we all want.

2. Keep your eyes open to repeat patterns. � Start identifying and understanding negative relationship patterns. Noticing that the same or close to the same, problems tend to rise in every relationship that you are in, then you need to figure out how to change these patterns so that they don�t happen in your future relationships also. Keep in mind that everyone that you may have a potential relationship with will have a past and carry some weight with it. You have had past relationships, so why wouldn�t the one you are interested in also? It is not ideal to sit and think that they have been waiting for you all their lives without dating anyone else ever. If you find yourself in a relationship where their past baggage is not something you can get past, you must get out of the relationship and start to evaluate your own issues regarding this.

3. Let go of all attachments that remind you of him. � It is very common for a woman to want to hold onto something from the one you were with, such as, a piece of clothing, or such other momento. This gives you a feeling of security and connection. You could go the other way and even tear up his favorite, prized t-shirt or even throw it away just to try to get even with him. Keep in mind that if you intentionally set out to hurt or humiliate someone, you usually end up hurting or humiliating yourself even more.

4. Do not have sex with you ex-boyfriend! – This is a huge thing and should never be gone against! If you continue to have sexual relations with someone who is not your legitimate boyfriend, you are setting yourself up for more heartache. In most cases, women will not openly admit it, but it is very difficult to keep love and sex apart. If you are still sleeping with an ex, your feelings will grow. This will cause more problems and heartache for you than when you first broke up. Setting your goals for sex turning back into an emotional relationship will be a big letdown. Keep in mind that sexual chemistry is not the same as true intimacy. Try not to confuse the two.

5. Take time out for yourself before beginning a new relationship. � Hooking yourself up in a rebound relationship is not going to help you heal. In most cases, the problems that you had in your past relationship will end up rearing their ugly heads in the new rebound relationship. Just as a scratch needs time to heal, so does your heart. Many women feel that once that relationship ends that they must run head first into a fresh one. Before doing this, you should take time out for yourself. Get to know yourself again as a single woman. This way when it is time for you to move onto a new relationship, you will be sure to know what it is you want out of it.

6. Ask for support and help with relationships. � Even though the person you lost is not dead, we still grieve for the loss we feel for them. You will mourn the loss of that love. This is normal. You can experience feelings of isolation, loneliness, and even depression. Some of which might feel completely overwhelming. Remember that you do not have to face this by yourself. There are friends, family members, counselors, or your minister that you can turn to for help in dealing. You could also join a support group if you feel this is the right step for you personally. This is the time to call on others to help you out and not suffer through it alone.

7. Your self-esteem needs strengthened regularly. � Many confuse being alone with that of being lonely. These are two totally separate things. If you start believing that they are the same, then your self esteem will continue to suffer. In order for you to maintain a high self-esteem, you have to feel complete by yourself without a man in your life. Strengthening your self-esteem is as easy as flushing out your filtering system. In other words, get rid of negative thoughts, conditions, and people. You cannot always be in control of what happens to you, but you can help to control how you respond in turn. Choosing to respond positively goes a long way in strengthening your self esteem.

8. Make a list of all the horrid things he did to you while in the relationship. – I am not saying you should become bitter and hold a lot of resentment towards him, but it is very essential that you remember how bad he did treat you. This will help you from developing that urge to take him back. This can help you to focus more on your own personal growth when he calls and tries to tempt you with a one night reconciliation. (Or possibly you wanting to make that call to him!)

9. Learn to let go and forgive. – Letting go and forgiving your ex-boyfriend can be a very hard thing to accomplish, especially if he was not nice and played with your emotions. However, to truly be able to move on, you need to get rid of all the anger and bitterness that you are holding on to. The longer you hold onto the anger, the longer you will be tied emotionally to him. This does not mean you forget what he did, just forgive. Always remember in the back of your mind how he treated you, but you have to let it go. Finding peace within yourself helps you to heal. Freeing yourself from an unhealthy relationship and accomplishing what you must will help you to move forward to finding that good, healthy relationship that you deserve to have.

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